As I sit here eating my apple cinnamon oatmeal for breakfast, reflecting on the last few days, I have to say that I’m surprised with society, for the things that people are willing to accept as ok or the norm, mainly because they are unwilling to take action for reasons only known to them.

On February 2, 2011, John W. Davis, a registered sex offender, retired Army Major and alas a former neighbor of mine, was arrested for entering a Whittier, CA school, Los Altos Elementary school where he was “reading” to students.

The principal of the school is on record saying “The school does not do background checks on people who are only going to be on campus for a very short time, Mestanza-Rojas said.”* and from the same article also stating “I can assure everyone that the kids are safe,” Los Altos principal Martha Mestanza-Rojas said. “The Los Altos students have been safe at every point. And (Davis) will no longer be allowed on campus.” *

So I have to ask, isn’t this putting the cart before the horse? Sure lets allow a registered sex offender access to our children, even if it’s supervised and assume that they are as this principal puts it SAFE and then follow up with a statement about how safe our schools are when the offender is arrested. (Yes this is sarcasm for those of you who are having a moment)

Any school that is going to be proactive on caring for students is going to be one who is on top of those who are registered sex offenders in the area. We entrust our children’s safety and well being to schools and those in them and yet something like this screams that the system is failing. It takes two seconds for a person to log onto Megan’s Law site and run a name to see if someone is indeed listed as a local sex offender. Are schools so lax and complacent that they are unable to take a brief check of someone who is coming to “read” to the kids; and assume that anyone that has any contact with the kids will not cause them harm.

Now, let’s address the statements from Captain Pat Maxwell:

“There is a tremendous amount of public access to information on the Internet for parents and guardians to be proactive about the protection of their children. We encourage you to use it,” Captain Pat Maxwell said. **

“Often, suspects in child abuse cases gained access to their victims through positions of trust. Proactive parents and guardians are the best protection for any child.” **

He is correct there is a tremendous amount of information available to the pubic, however what he doesn’t go on to state when ordinary citizens call the appropriate authorities; regarding violations of registration and/or concerns for young children, they are listened to then nothing is done. Example: A phone call was made to the LASO Norwalk station regarding the fact that Mr. Davis had 2 young children, both boys living in his home, that he had been seen bouncing one child, dressed in little to nothing at all on his lap. Only to be told that there was nothing the Sheriffs could do regarding this, until he broke a law.

Hold up… let me get this right. Mr. Davis is a registered sex offender who was arrested and convicted of “lewd or lascivious acts with a child under 14 years of age”*** and this man lives with minor boys under the age of 10, has been seen doing things that are inappropriate and the Sheriffs can’t or wont do anything?

I have to commend one of the mothers in the complex, upon finding out that her son was being watched by Mr. Davis and his past, she put in a call to her sons school and notified them regarding his status.  Mr. Davis was banned from the schools grounds.

Now some might ask, well Kat why wasn’t C.P.S. called. It was on numerous occasions, only once did a caseworker respond to a call, to which the response was a social worker came and spoke with Mr. Davis and his fiancée regarding the children. Let’s look at the reason the responded… because Mr. Davis’s fiancée failed to supervise the youngest child, at the time approx 3 years of age around a pool area. Again other than a stern talking to no other action was taken, so the question is raised… Did the system fail the students at Los Altos and the children living in the apartment complex of Mr. Davis… or did people just not care enough to pursuit things with this man further, until of course he was arrested because a deputy followed up after seeing Mr. Davis at the school then subsequently found him on a sex offenders site.

You decide…

Below you will find the links where quotes were pulled from along with the website for California’s registered sex offenders, along with the Map where you too can search out offenders in your area.

Have a wonderful day!

~Kat and the kids

Megans Law Site:

http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/

Search Out Offenders in Your area:

http://www.meganslaw.ca.gov/search.aspx

Links relating to where quotes were taken from:

* http://www.sgvtribune.com/news/ci_17284229

** http://www.contracostatimes.com/california/ci_17293077

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This morning, as I was getting dressed for work, I had on Fox11 news. Instead of seeing the usual traffic jams and hearing the news of the morning, I was forced to watch a very public apology of a man to his wife, family, friends, the general public and sponsors, for his marital infidelities.

I had to ask myself what kind of society are we need to watch something that is so personal between a man and his wife, that he feels compelled to explain himself, in such a public forum, to those who aren’t in the marriage between he and his wife.

I will agree, Tiger had an issue with keeping his pants zipped up, but what we don’t know is what went on between Tiger and his wife, nor should we care. Society has a way of putting “superstars” of sports, TV and film upon pedestals; this is a recipe for failure. When society forgets that the person they put upon the pedestal is only human like we are, they might be graced with exceptional sports, acting, writing or other abilities, but that doesn’t mean that they cease to be human as well. What makes Tiger different from the average Joe is his abilities to play golf and market himself?

I agree, he did owe his wife an apology, did he owe his sponsors one, well that would only be a yes, if he’s deliberately marketed himself to them as a man as pure as the driven snow and that he’s perfect, without any of the usual human failings. Did he owe the public at large an “I’m sorry for cheating on my wife.” in my opinion NO. Charles Barkley said it clearly and I agree with him, He’s no role model that should be the parents’ job, not the job of someone who is a “Star”

Society needs to remember that Tiger is just as human as the next person, I don’t see every cheating husband or wife hopping on the TV to apologize to the world at large for their indiscretions, if that happened, good god we’d be watching some really boring TV.

I hope that Tiger and his wife do what is best for them without consideration for anyone else but their children.

Best of luck to both!

Kat and the kids

You know it’s funny. When we take a job as a ‘worker bee’ for a large company there are certain expectations, that we as workers are afforded;

1. That we will be allowed do to our job without interference from supervisors who feel they should share their personal lives with us.

2. That our decisions, be it good or bad, will be reviewed by the company.

3. That we have the right to go to the proverbial bat for our policy holders.

4. That we won’t be singled out by a supervisor because we chose not to share our personal life with them.

Now, before you wonder if this is in regards to me, I have to say no its not. This would be a little blog about how a certain Geico Supervisor on the East Coast, has the ability and wear with all to harass, harangue and in general make life miserable at work for a certain male, yes I said MALE employee.

It seems that she feels it’s ok to corner him at work to discuss her sons issues with his penis, her mother in laws incontinent issues and more. Now when this male employee doesn’t chose to share his personal life with said supervisor, she feels well within her power to make his work life a living hell.

Now let me ask you. Is this considered sexual harassment in Geico’s book? Apparently not, as he was pulled into a room with two other supervisors to be told that he is considered a substandard employee for NOT being willing to discuss his personal life.

Why the blog you might ask? Because this employee feels that if he escalates his issue with this supervisor, he will be put in a situation that he doesn’t wish to be in… i.e. moved to another department or another job or worse yet fired.

Lets think about this. Over the years, women are conditioned to register a complaint with the human resource department, when they feel they are being harassed at their work place. We are also conditioned to submit complaints when we feel we are working in a hostile work environment, however let a male do this and what happens… his issues are swept under the rug because he’s a guy and we all know men shouldn’t have this issue.

Honestly, I feel this is quite unfair for the employee who is just doing his job. He gets up every morning, goes to work, healthy or sick, not to mention he was so sick recently and while his boss took a mental health day, he was encouraged to not leave work to deal with this virus and proceeded to spread it through the office, thereby costing the company several employees, who were allowed to take legitimate days off for being ill.

Sad to say that this supervisor is akin to an office Hitler and that doesn’t bode well for Geicos bottom line. It leaves them open for a potential lawsuit, this employee open for continual harassment and at the end of the day a bad taste in the mouths of those who feel that Geico is a company that does not support it’s employees.

Is this really the type of company who we’d want to insure our vehicles, homes and other items?

I wish this ‘worker bee’ the best of luck with his situation, as we all can attest that one bad supervisor can spoil the working environment for all.

Here is to hoping that Geico will actually step up and sort this issue out for this gentleman.

Have a wonderful friday!

~Kat and the Kids

Someone asked about why people should be civil to each other if there were no afterlife, and asked to keep it non-religious…so I had to figure out an answer…

Another Awesome Semi Rant by our own G

After reading the Grand Juries report on the Orange County Jail system, I sit back and wonder why that the issues the Orange County Sheriffs Office are facing were not dealt with as they happened. Why did it take the unfortunate death of a prisoner and the subsequent grand jury findings to bring to light the major issues that are happening within this jail system? Why was this not handled by the interim Sheriff LONG before it got to the point where he is now doing damage control and trying to explain his lack of action. I believe that putting people on administrative leave was a knee jerk reaction and in response to the Grand Jury’s findings. It’s just too little to late. It should never have taken the death of someone to spur the interim Sheriff into action, for that I say Shame on you Interim Sheriff Anderson, for not listening to your deputies, and opening your eyes beyond what you chose to see.

In each jail they have an administrative staff, who are responsible for overseeing the jails operations. So I have to ask why is it that when someone voices a concern, the administration will shelve the issue and not address and correct it at the time. With the Grand Jury finding that deputies are using their time to chat online, text message, sleep and watch television while not doing their job and putting both other guards and prisoners at risk, why is it the jail administrators have not reprimanded those who are not doing their jobs? You can not tell me that there have not been deputies who have voiced concerns with the jail system, only to be reprimanded or transferred because the administrators of a particular jail do not want to face the facts, perhaps the administrators should stop burring their heads in the preverbal sand, they should listen to those who are walking the jail beat, otherwise how can they have a true vision of what is going on down in the jail trenches.

When you work in the private sector, if you are found misusing the companies’ funds, equipment, or sleeping while you should be working, you are sure to find yourself OUT of a job. Then why is it ok for those deputies to be as we would term it LAZY. Is it because they feel that due to their time on they should be allowed to sit back and just collect a paycheck? The sad thing is those who are being lazy and not doing their jobs just don’t care, they are getting paid and that’s all that matters. It gives those deputies who do work hard at their jobs a bad name and reputation. People this is your tax dollar at work.

It was common knowledge through the law enforcement community that the former Sheriff Mike Carona was a substandard sheriff, with little or no regard for those who worked under him to uphold the law. It’s also well known that Interim Sheriff Anderson was one of Former Sheriff Carona’s “Golden Children”, a hand picked lackey put into place because he did his job by being a yes man. Now that Carona is no longer Sheriff, the interim Sheriff has his plate full, hopefully he will become proactive and face the issues at hand instead of letting them fester to the point where another person is hurt.

IF you want change then it should start from the top with someone who actually listens to what the people in his department are saying, someone who will be proactive in his approach of dealing with the jail system. Yes we all know change takes time, but the question then is how many more have to die before the interim sheriff actually steps up, stepping up when the cameras are on does no one any good nor does it bring back the lives lost in the jails that ultimately he is responsible for.

A new fulltime sheriff would be a good beginning, change will not happen until something is done there. The interim Sheriff can talk tough to the media all he want, he can try and establish policies, but those who work under him will not take as much heed to changes made as they would to someone who’s going to be with them long term.

In the orange county register I was reading through an article regarding the death of inmate at the Santa Ana jail and was surprised to see the reporter compare the Orange County Jail System with that of the Los Angeles County Jail System. No jail system is free of flaws, however it’s the handling of issues and the willingness to see what is going on by the upper echelon that makes a jail system what it is. It is regretful that people have to lose their lives in jail, however while we hear what the news has to say about the current situation, where were they as trouble happened, did they report it or do they just sit back, only to glamorize and sensationalize the current going ons.

I agree that there needs to be change in the Orange County Jail System, but instead of punishing those who actually care about their jobs and the welfare of the prisoners they deal with daily, administration should listen when deputies voice their concerns to superiors and address them, not sweep them under the rug until such time as something as sad as a death occurs. Until those who are running the jail system, actually do their job, there will be no change in sight.

[In response to discussion regarding the behaviors of children in today's society. The discussion was spurred by the article involving the group of 3rd grade children that had conspired to attack their teacher.]

It’s a simple matter of a balance of fear, and repercussions….kids today have nothing to fear anymore.

Look at it objectively…kids can literally get away with murder. They can divorce their parents, or call protective services any time they don’t get dessert with dinner, and it’s the parents that get grilled. Even if they figure out it was the kid at fault, what really can they do to them? Nada, and the kids know this.

Kids also know that they can not only disobey, disrespect, and ignore their teachers, but they can also threaten and attack them, as the teachers cannot do anything to them, nor can they protect themselves for fear of litigation. Kids figured that out a long time ago, folks.

Kids aren’t afraid of anything anymore, because they know there really isn’t any repercussion for what they do. Adults, however, have to live in the constant fear of litigation, potential legal punishment, public scorn, should they do ANYthing to get the kids back into line.

Kids aren’t even afraid of law enforcement anymore because they know the justice system will take the “precious little angles that just need love” approach and they’ll get off with less than a slap on the hand.

Kids KNOW that the counseling and psychiatric community have imposed their “delicate little snowflake” mentality on everyone, so much so that everyone is afraid of wounding their inner child. *NEWSFLASH*……they don’t have an inner child yet, because they are still children themselves! Protecting an abstract concept in favor of properly guiding, disciplining, and teaching a child is abject nonsense.

The simple fact is that children learn and grow through testing boundaries, and this country has all but eliminated them. Yet, people are shocked when kids act out like this, thinking it must be something in the water. It isn’t…..it’s an amalgamation of things:

-The misinterpretation that children must be coddled at all costs as if they’re somehow the next savior….they aren’t…..they crap their pants, eat their boogers, play in mud, and generally act like idiots just like we did when we were kids. We’re animals’ folks…with higher cognitive capabilities, but animals, nonetheless.

- A legal system that has effectively taken away the ability of a parent to discipline or rein their children in when they need it, and have provided no substitute in exchange. Oh, and before anyone out there suggests that I’m all about beating the hell out of a child….stow it…I’m not saying take a bat to a kid….but I’m sure as hell saying that children can be taught that there is a price to be paid for behavior that’s over the line. A spanked ass is just that….a spanked ass…people that make it out to be more than it is are simpering turds. I have yet to find the human being that has suffered deep emotional scarring due to a spanking…not a beating….a spanking.

- An educational system that has gelded its instructors to the point that they fear for their lives. I won’t digress into the “when I was a kid” speech, but there was a time when teachers had the authority to handle a situation, and didn’t have to fear litigation or dismissal after the fact if it was warranted. Granted, there are always those examples of teachers that go too far…beating a child with an umbrella, for example…is inexcusable. I will add an exception to this area. If a child has taken it upon themselves to attack a teacher, then I say “game on”. No human being has the right to attack another one, regardless of age, and if the victim of the attack has the means to defend themselves, then they should. Teachers idly standing by while a student throws a desk at them, flies in the face of natural selection. If I were the instructor, and had a desk hurled my way, that kid would be knocked on his ass…and the legal, media, psychological, and educational communities should applaud their teachers for defending themselves, instead of punishing them for potentially upsetting the ‘delicate little snowflake’. If a kid can’t respect his fellow students enough to allow them to learn, and try to learn themselves, then a teacher should have every right to kick them out of class until they straighten up. Teachers shouldn’t be held hostage because they’re afraid of insulting the parents by sending little Bobby home. People actually have the gall to wonder why there aren’t enough qualified teachers out there anymore….who the hell would want the job? We take a motivated, driven, young teacher, and then place the equivalent of a gag and handcuffs on them, and tell them to go forth and make a difference….we’re a nation of retards.

- Educational standards need to be reexamined and raised back up to the point that schools actually produce contributing members of society. The constant lowering of passing scores to artificially inflate the graduation rate of schools in this country is a disservice to everyone….EVERYONE. If little Bobby can’t pass an exam, then little Bobby needs to study harder, have his parents help him more, ASK for help from his teacher whom he’s supposed to respect, not attack…and after all that, if Bobby still can’t pass, he should be held back until he can, not pressed through hoping society will somehow absorb his dumb ass. Schools need to have the balls to be able to tell parents once more that little Bobby is a dumb ass if that actually is the case. They don’t need to sugarcoat it and say that he’s “minimally exceptional”, so as to delude the parents into thinking that their kid is going to be the next Stephen Hawking. If you don’t believe any of this, look around you…..we have a president that can’t pronounce words of the English language properly…so much so, he’s known for making them up from time to time. To borrow a concept from another post here, we have a nation full of “id” based morons that have guided society into believing that socially unacceptable behavior is cool, and being stupid is just hunky dory.

Yes….I’m angry about all of this. Not only do I have to watch most of general society disintegrate this way, but I also get to watch my own extended family go down the same path. I have step-nieces and nephews that are in their teens that feel they know everything, so they don’t need school anymore, don’t need their parents anymore, and have decided to move in with whatever ‘tard they’re currently humping. I have friends that have had to pull their kids from school and home school them because the district they live in now teaches some form of math that has no wrong answers. 2+2 no longer just equals 4, but it can also equal 3 sticks and an apple, 2 caterpillars and a flower, or any other combination thereof. Hell, they even get half credit if they made ANY attempt whatsoever. Gotta make sure the kids pass, even if they don’t know ANYTHING.

Until there is a major sociological shift in this country that returns to more objective thinking, and the use of common sense (God forbid)…we will continue to produce uncontrollable, self absorbed, ignorant, retards that will eventually run everything as they will be the majority.

I swear, it’s only 7am, and I’m already as annoyed as I can get today. I don’t think there is enough caffeine in the vending machine to send me into a stimulant based euphoria to get me through the day.

(Authored by Tim - he has been on a roll as of late ~Kat)

So last night I called the local sheriffs station. It seems we have someone in our complex who feels that when there is a no parking zone it doesn’t pertain to them, when they are looking for street parking.

Our complex has assigned slips for each resident. If you have additional cars you end up having to park on a rather busy street. Unfortunately for us, because of this street parking we have a limited view of the busy main road when pulling out and this small amount of footage offered up by the ‘red zone’ gives us an additional site line of the oncoming traffic.

The other thing this person fails to realize, is that by parking in this zone, which also has a fire hydrant, IF the fire department were to show up for a house, car or any other kind of fire, with his vehicle there he hinders their access to this life saving measure, which could result in them putting the hose through his car windows.

What irritates me about this person is for the last 3 months he has felt that it’s his RIGHT to park there, never mind that by doing so he’s putting everyone at risk that live in this complex. This goes back to the posting about people believing their needs are more important the rest of the world.

So a couple of neighbors have decided to host a little campaign to stop the illegal parking of cars that put us at risk each and every day by parking in this red zone. A simple call to the back line of our local sheriffs station and quick conversation with the Sergeant on duty, will result in a drive by and ticket by a local deputy, though I hate to be the cause of additional paperwork for the deputy, I figure it’s less paperwork than an accident, should it occur.

While some might call this pissy behavior; however those who understand what the ‘red zone’ is about will also understand that this person seems to have an apparent disregard for those who are his neighbors.

So next time your in a hurry and looking for a spot to park your vehicle, remember your parking manners, don’t block a “red zone” as by doing so you might just put someone at risk.

Have a great day!

Kat

Since posting Sexual Predators vs Parents 101, I’ve had numerous emails and chats with people offering their opinions and points of view.

One of the best conversations regarding the posting was with a good friend, who is the father of a young boy; he also has worked around many child molesters in the course of his job.

While he agrees that I made several valid points with my initial post, he brought up an angle that I did not think about as I was posting the first time.

In his 14 years of experience working around child molesters, he has found that most have nothing more to say about it than it feels “right and normal” to them. While they understand that society views the interaction of an adult with a minor to be wrong, many will say differently when on film, television or in other media, hoping that this might bring them leniency, even though they feel as strongly about it being right, as any man would feel it’s right to have sex with his wife.

He’s also believes that a child molester can not be re-habilitated. As he pointed out, they have chemically castrated many a sexual predator only to have that person molest again. Chemical castration does not fix the urge that is sent from the brain, it only takes away the ability to have the penis function.

While I compared rehabilitation to being that of an addiction, he pointed out, that if it was an addiction than we could rehabilitate people to be a sexual orientation that we wished them to be. Society could no more rehabilitate him, a straight man, into being a homosexual than they can rehabilitate a child molester into fitting what society would deem to be acceptable.

This being said, he’s of the opinion that child molesters should not be allowed around, near or close to a child. That this offense is suitable for the death penalty, and yes I know this will upset many people, but this is his opinion and I value other people’s point of view on touchy subject matters.

His reasoning behind his feeling that this crime is suitable for such a drastic punishment is that many children who have suffered through child molestation, have life long issues and problems. Quite often they have issues with the law, as they turn to alternate and illegal means to mask the pain they carry. When I brought up the point that it’s often said that most who molest children were often times molested themselves as children, which to me could mean that it’s a learned behavior. He brought up another valid point. Not all children who are molested become child molesters, those who are need serious therapy to help them. It’s up to the individual to recognize certain bad feelings they may have and get help before they act upon them.

So my question to him was this, in essence some might be able to be rehabilitated if they are of the persuasion of being a victim of child molestation verses someone who is chemically wired that way?

His answer was, No, some of the children whom are victimized can be helped through treatment, and molesters themselves, he believes cannot be helped as they think it feels right. He feels that a child molester might feel love from it, power, or whatever they derive from the action of molesting. If one has been molested, and turns around to themselves molest, it’s his belief that it is too late to change their way of thinking. Help needed to come way before for those who are a victim of molestation and go on to molest children themselves.

He also believes that many molesters think of themselves as victims of the beliefs that society holds on what is right and wrong. He can’t imagine that any molester would think that molestation is legal, and knowing it’s illegal, they must know and understand that society finds it repulsive, so why would they molest unless they are driven by it feeling right in their own minds.

This conversation brought to light as I stated before an angle that I had not considered in regards to the rehabilitation of child molesters and those who prey on the young, be they girls or boys. I value his thoughts, opinions and experiences, on this subject matter, as both a father of a young boy and that as a professional who deals with those unsavory souls who most of polite society would not want cross paths with.

Kat

*please note that much of what was written came from my friend CEC during the course of our conversation and I took the liberty of using statements made by him during the course of our chat. He will be previewing this blog prior to my posting it for accuracy on his thoughts and opinions. ~Kat*

So a few nights ago I was lingering in yahoo chat when an interesting subject matter came up. Apparently one of the chatters is a registered sex offender. According to what I saw he was convicted of forceful rape of a minor 13 to 15.

The ensuing discussion was in regard to his crime. The people who defended him based their defense on what he had told them about himself, now 17 years after the fact verses those who condemned his actions based on his crime and the facts that they found out via the World Wide Web.

I often am reminded that we really don’t know the people behind the screen. They can be anyone or do anything, often time without fear of being detected. With television shows such as “To Catch A Predator” or groups such as “The Cyber Angels” a division of “The Guardian Angels” who seek out those who might wish to do our children harm, one would think that people of the caliber of the fellow from last nights discussion would be leery of wandering into a chat room full of those who are sworn to protect, i.e. a police and fire chat.

I’ve seen on the shows where often times the “bait” is a perceived young child who is looking for a “friend” to come visit them. Those men and women, who are shown showing up to engage in “special time” with a child, will say it’s their first time however I think it’s just their first time being caught. While they might show they are remorseful for their actions, in truth I believe their remorse is over being caught.

One of the points made during the discussion was that sexual offenders can be rehabilitated. I do agree that they can be, however like with any addiction, lets take alcohol as an example, you might be a recovering alcoholic but you will never be cured, you are bound to slip up and do we really wish to put children’s lives on the line for the slip up of a “rehabilitated” sexual predator?

On the other hand, living in California I’m not surprised that many children who are indeed underage are approached for sex by adults. I say this because as I see it parents really need to know what their children are up to, who their friends are where they are going and with whom.

More and more children are latch key kids who are growing up faster than they should. Growing up in single parent households or in a home where both parents work, our children are learning about “the birds and the bees” from their friends and people online, instead of learning about it from their parents.

Having coached several team sports, I often times wondered at the lack of concern many parents of blended families had over their children. One young man I coached was the oldest of a blended family where his mother and step father felt the best way to deal with his issues, was to toss money at him and let him figure it out.

Our children are basically raising themselves, they are ill equipped to deal with peer pressure to look older, act older, and have sex earlier. From the cartoons that target children, from their sexual nature to their disrespect of adults, to music telling children that it’s ok to act the part of a ho or thug, to what they read on the web, are sent in emails and text messages it’s not hard to see where many online predators can step in and offer the perceived love and support that many of these children are seeking.

So my hope is that those who are parents will take the time to look into who their children are friends with, where they are going and how they are getting there.

Remember being a parent is more than just giving birth to a baby. It’s being there to listen and talk with your child, to give them guidance on life. To monitor those who they might consider a friend, to protect them from those who wish to do them harm. To give them the tools to grow into adults who can make educated decisions about life, be able to distinguish friend from foe and most importantly to raise their own well adjusted children.