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November 27, 2006

Christmas Season

So the Christmas Season has started… well the ‘traditional’ season.  The shopping season however leaves a lot to be desired.  I remember back in the day (sounds like I’m an old kat doesn’t it) When the shopping season actually started the day after thanksgiving, as I grew older it became the first of November, then before Halloween. If we keep up this tradition by the time I’m in my dotage we’ll be having Christmas sales at the end of January.

 Black Friday always amazes me, I was in Seattle for the Thanksgiving holiday this year and while watching the news I was shocked to see that people had forgone enjoying their Thanksgiving day to camp out in front of retail stores in search of bargains.  How sad is it that we as a society are willing to forgo a holiday with friends and family, to give thanks and celebrate this great country of ours, to sit in the cold and damp weather overnight just to save 50% on something that we really don’t need.

I remember a time when stores would actually close for the ENTIRE day on the actual holiday, now they are open until 6pm, so the last minute shopper can run in and buy what they forgot.  Well people, I hate to say this but it’s needed.  It’s time to follow the 6 P’s of life.  Proper Planning Prevents Piss Poor Performance.  If you actually take the time to plan ahead, you’ll have everything you need for the holiday season.

Slow down and think about what makes the holiday special, your family, friends and loved ones.    Reflect on what the various holidays mean to you.  Thanksgiving, Chanukah, Kwanza, Christmas and the New Year, you will be amazed at how much you’ll actually enjoy the holiday season.

Happy Holidays to you and yours.

Kat and family (Ace, Cera and Tori)

Filed under: Life,Pursuit of Happiness by Kat at 11:25 am

October 12, 2006

Today is International Disadvantaged People’s Day.

Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend, just as I’m doing here.

I don’t care if you lick windows, interfere with farm animals, vote liberal or occasionally shit yourself…….

You hang in there sunshine !!!Â

You’re fucking special…Â

Love, Kat  Â

Filed under: Pursuit of Happiness by Kat at 9:06 pm

September 29, 2006

Confessions of a Phonesex Company Owner

Here is where it gets fun… story time:

These are true stories, only the clients names are not added to protect them, though I hope they never read this or they might burn a bit pink.

The Turkey Story

Setting: Thanksgiving Day, 2001, dressed head to toe in sweats with big fuzzy wool socks, with my arm up the behind of a turkey stuffing it. (nice mental isn’t it, hehehe)

Call: One male, Dominant who wants a submissive slave girl.Â

So the phone rings, here I am stuffing the turkey for dinner, yet I answer the phone. I hear this voice tell me in a demanding voice, I want a slave girl, well heck I’m game. So, off I go to run his charge, when it goes through, schlepping back to the kitchen he asks me, “Where are you?” “Oh, master I purr, I’m on my bed waiting further instruction.”

Reality check, I’m back in the kitchen stuffing the turkey

He tells me, how naughty I’ve been and that I need a spanking, so ok I’m game for this.  He asks “do you have a wooden spoon?” “Yes Sir” I reply, reaching over to grab a wooden spoon from the thingy majiggy that holds all my kitchen utensils.  Then I hear, “slave I want to hear you spank your rear end NOW”, “Ok, I reply” all he hears is a resounding TWHAP, “again slave” THWAP. A couple more loud thwaps and he hangs up, obviously completing his business.  Yes, if you were following along in the beginning of the story, I whacked the holy heck out of my turkey’s breast, tenderizing it like no ones business, and you bet I slid that turkey into the oven, damn fine turkey if I do say so myself!

Spaghetti makes Money!!! It’s true!

Setting: February 2001, again I’m in the kitchen, sense a theme here? I had just made and cooked homemade pasta. Left it draining in the sink while I was waiting on my then significant other to come home from work.

Here I am, minding my own business and again the phone rings.  This gentleman shares that he likes to know how much he pleases his ‘woman’… oook… we can accommodate that, as you can imagine I’m off running his card while he is telling me just what it is he likes, a wet woman.Â

So, back to the kitchen I go, looking mighty fine in my sweats and fuzzy socks, this guy wants to know where I am and what I’m doing… well once again giving him the mental image he wants… I’m in bed, naked and wanting him.  So he starts building up steam, seems this one likes a little naughty interaction, he wants to know if I get ‘wet’.  Sure I tell him, dripping wet, then he says… “I want to hear it”

Note: some of the best wet sounds you can get are using either lube or hand cream and moving through your fingers.

So, I start looking around thinking to myself, darn it nothing is in reach, but then I spy the noodles in the sink and a light bulb goes off… I slide my hand into the noodles and bounce them on my hand, I hear him do his business and hang up.

If you never look at spaghetti noodles the same again, I won’t blame you… I DON’T!

A few truths about Phone sex.Â

1. If you believe that the person you’re paying to assist you in your ultimate goal of having an orgasm is actually participating, well 10 to 1 she’s not.

I can’t tell you how many times I was in the middle of folding laundry, cooking or cleaning when the phone would ring, with some horny fellow on the other end, clutching his fantasy close to his chest waiting for me to help him along in his moment of need.  For 12.99 for the first 10 minutes with each additional minute costing him a dollar, I was game; it enabled me to work from home.

2. If you want to believe the picture of the woman you found on the internet is really the woman you’re talking to then… sugar go right ahead!

Reality of that situation is normally you will get some girl that wouldn’t want her face associated with a phone sex site, lest her mother, father, teachers or preacher see her… though what they are doing pursing a phone sex site, I don’t want to know.

3. If you think you won’t become addicted to phone sex… sorry but sugar you’re addicted to self love you just want someone to listen to you have your ‘moment’.

More than once, I recall men calling to say… just listen to me masturbate.  Okkkkkkkkk, if this is your brand of kink, easy peasy I tell you, I can sit and read a magazine while you beat your banana.

 Now, it’s often though that a person who owns and works her phone sex company is just a brainless twit, nothing can be further from the truth. This is a service industry, you have a need, she provides for that need.  That requires business licenses, paying contractors who answer the phones, keeping the website up and running, and balancing books among other things.

Being creative is what keeps the clients coming back, that and the belief that their secret is safe with the phone sex operator, it takes some guts and trust to believe the person on the other end of the phone isn’t going to abscond with your financial information.  Giving the voice on the other end of the phone your credit card information, your name, mailing address and phone number, along with your first born darn near, well you get the picture.  Crazy, but people do it.

Filed under: Life,Pursuit of Happiness by Kat at 6:09 am
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