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July 7, 2011

The Donkey….

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.

The Pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in another race and it won again.

The local paper read:
Pastor’s ASS OUT FRONT.

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.

The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES Pastor’s ASS.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Pastor to get rid of the donkey.

The Pastor decided to give it to a Nun in a nearby convent.

The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:

NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The Bishop fainted.

He informed the Nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10
.

This was too much for the Bishop so he ordered the Nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.

The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The Bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else’s ass and you’ll be a lot happier and live longer!

Have a nice day!

Kat & the kids

PS try to stay cool in this super hot weather and never leave your pet or children unattended in a car with the windows up.

Filed under: Food For Thought,Funnies,Life by Kat at 8:19 pm

December 17, 2010

Thoughts on Holiday Travel – Complete with Intrusive Pat Down!

It’s that time of year again where we, en mass hit the airports to fly to our respective homes to celebrate with the ones we love.

Now I know that the country is up in arms over the whole idea of full body ex-rays and intrusive body pat downs but I’ve come to look at it in another way.

First of all let me say that I will happily decline the full body x-ray, I’m sorry but I don’t feel the need to expose myself to the low levels of radiation needed for such things, heck even at my dental office they put you in lead while shooting pictures of your teeth with their x-ray machines, so why would I allow for the feds to shoot me with radiation. So that being said I have decided that it would be so much more fun to elect for the full body pat down, after all if they feel the need to feel me up, have at it. Now this might make them uncomfortable but really I don’t care. If they have boob, back of knee or groin fetishes, that’s their thing. If we Americans all elected for the full body pat down how long do you seriously think they would keep it up?!?

The mental image I have of the full body invasive pat down is this. A little old lady with sagging breasts and her depends on goes through and respectfully declines having the x-ray. Some young guy comes up and with a female in attendance starts the search, over the din, you hear her waitress, smokers voice say “Sweet cheeks, make sure you thoroughly check me out. This is the most fun I’ve had in eons!”

So, I say let them have at it, get the pat down, have them run their hands over your body and make sure your not ‘hiding’ anything, after all this is cheaper than going to a peep show, where you too are not allowed to touch and you don’t have to tip them for doing a good job!

Happy Holidays!

Kat and the Kids

Filed under: Food For Thought,Life by Kat at 2:36 pm

December 16, 2010

Good Sportsman Ship Not Shown By Jets Assistant Coach

It’s disheartening to see an assistant coach on the sidelines of the New York Jets, show such poor judgment and even worse poor sportsmanship. I know as fans, we want our teams to win the games they play, but do we really want them to win playing dirty or having misguided coaches, making dirty plays such as the below (see the video),  throwing a knee into a player from the other team?

What does he gain from this? Perhaps he injures the player and takes him out of the game, if he gets caught (which he did on video no less) he could lose his ability to coach anywhere and what kind of example does he give to not only his players but those fans watching the game… That the New York Jets only care about winning, even if that means breaking the rules.

I’m quite sure at the time this happened, the coach in question did not think it all out, had he, I would hope that he wouldn’t have chosen to make a decision that in the end impacted more than I’m sure he ever intended.

Growing up, I played several team sports; soccer, basketball, soft ball and a few others. Competitive soccer was my thing. After graduating from high school, I then took time to coach a couple of club level soccer teams.

Good Sportsmanship was something that was preached by coaches, pushed by parents and made those who played the sport feel good. We didn’t have to win at all costs, nothing was better than to win a game because the team and each individual on the team played to the best of their ability. We players lived and breathed this belief and took pride in doing our best win or lose.

Good sportsmanship is something to take pride in.  It’s something that we teach our children and expect of any player in any sport be the player an amateur or professions.

Win or Lose it’s how we played that game that in the end really matters.

Kat & Kids

Filed under: Food For Thought,Life by Kat at 1:23 pm
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